The Do's and Don'ts of Surviving a Breakup
- DO get it all out. Wallow in self-pity, cry
into your pillow, write bad poetry. Express your feelings as openly as you
can. The more you keep things inside, the worse the feelings can become.
- DON'T stay bitter. Don't take it out on your
friends, or shut people out of your life. It's understandable that you may
need some time alone, but don't prolong this period or you may find that
you've isolated yourself from the rest of the world. If you don't feel like
talking just yet, let your friends know. Don't leave them in the dark,
especially if they reach out to you.
- DO think positively. A positive state of mind
will manifest into a positive outlook on life.
- DON'T lose faith in people. Assuming that all
men out there are scum could result in you missing out on someone great.
- DO something new. Whether it's a class or
hobby, try to pick something that you and your partner did not share an
interest in. The less reminded you are, the better. By making the activity
your own, you're asserting your independence from the relationship.
- DON'T lead others on. If you're not over
someone yet, make that clear. After all, you wouldn't want to be someone
- DO keep active socially. Call up your old
friends, have a girls' night out, start a study group. You'll find that
surrounding yourself with other people will make you feel better, and the
support they provide is like a big comfort blanket.
- DON'T listen to sad music. This will only make
the wallowing worse. At all costs, avoid putting on the mixed CD that he
made for your six-month anniversary.
- DO pamper yourself. Pick something that will
lift your spirits and do it. Is it a manicure? A new outfit? A day at the
casino? Whatever tickles your fancy, do it.
- DON'T contact your ex. If you still care about
him and want to know how he's doing, give yourself some time to boost your
ego first. Contacting him too soon could result in more pain and a longer
time to heal.
- DO let go of the relationship. You may end up
together in the long run, but for now, consider things done and certainly
don't wait around for him to come around. Life is too short for you to be
waiting around for someone.
- DON'T gossip. Things may come back to you, and
by then it'll be too late to take things back. As tempting as that may be,
resist the urge to bad-mouth your ex.
- DO make a list of his annoying qualities. It
may seem like a childish thing to do, but it's very therapeutic and will
help you realize that things were better this way.
- DON'T set time frames for yourself. So your
best friend always seems to bounce back from a relationship. So your ex is
already dating someone else. So what? Take things day-by-day and at your own
pace. Give time its chance to heal things, and in the meantime, look for the
best in yourself and remember that you're an ultra-cool vixen who doesn't
need a man to feel complete.
- DO change your environment. Do this especially
if you've lived with the person. Take pictures down, gather his things in a
box and place it as far away from you as possible, rearrange the furniture.
Even if you haven't lived with the person, you may find that a little
rearranging can do wonders for the soul.
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